Terminology

For some time now I've been thinking that I want to do something more to reach out and help others to understand SSA. A couple of months back I decided to try writing a blog. I don't really like this medium because I don't really know who my audience is and I therefore have trouble catering to them. But it seems to be the best avenue for me to take.

So, over the past six months I've fielded a lot of questions regarding Same Sex Attraction (SSA) and how I deal with that as a member of the LDS Church. I've also encountered people who would like to convince me that life on the other side is better. I have had to do a lot of research and have pondered about a lot of things.

To start this off I don't want to get into any of the heavy stuff. I'd rather begin with some of the basics, the first of which is terminology. I hope that this will help people to understand some of the ambiguity that comes with labels. 

In doing this I will also deal with some of the lightly controversial points that relate, and will even delve a little into the abyss of inappropriate and insulting terms and how I feel about them.

SSA - Same Sex Attraction/Attracted

This is probably the most fundamental term used. It refers to an attraction to the same sex. This label is for the feeling and/or the person. It can cover the whole spectrum of attraction for those who self identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual and even many who identify as straight.

SGA - Same Gender Attraction

A lot of LDS members use this term because it is used by leaders. I personally don't like the term. The reason for my dislike is that gender is not as clearly defined as sex. Gender refers to a social construct, an identity which may or may not be congruous with biological sex (the sex that someone was born as). As such, to say that someone is attracted to the same gender leaves a level of ambiguity as to whether the reference is to the social definition or the biological.

LGBT(Q) - Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transexual (or transgender) & Questioning

This is a fairly common term. It is used in a variety of forums to describe the community who self identify as belonging to it. Many have differing opinions as to who belongs to the community, usually based on their own definitions of the terms lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual or transgender and questioning. As the terms used are self labels, the community is quite subjective as to whom it includes. Someone who identifies as SSA may not identify as LGBTQ and someone who considers themselves a part of the community may not be accepted as such.

Many forums omit the category of questioning. It can also be expanded to LGBTQIA and include Intersex and Asexual.

Lesbian

A self identifying term referring to a female who is sexually attracted solely or mainly to females. It is widely accepted but not necessarily always correct that those who identify as lesbian have sexual relationships with other females. Some who identify as lesbian may choose to be celibate or have mixed orientation relationships.

Some who identify as lesbian have sexual interaction with males as well as females.

Gay

Similar to lesbian. A self identifying term usually referring to a male who is attracted solely or mainly to males. A lesbian or a female attracted to other females may also self identify as gay.

It is widely accepted but not necessarily always correct that those who identify as gay have sexual relationships with other males. Some who identify as gay may choose to be celibate or have mixed orientation relationships.

Some who identify as gay have sexual interaction with females as well as males.

Bisexual

The definition of bisexual is often ambiguous. In essence it refers to someone who is sexually attracted to those of both sexes. Similar to the terms of lesbian and gay, bisexual is a self determined label. This creates a lot of ambiguity as most people experience sexual attraction to both sexes to different degrees.

What one person would call bisexuality another may call straight, gay or lesbian.

As a general rule though if someone describes themselves as 50/50 or 60/40 in their attractions I would personally categorise them as bisexual.

Transsexuality is a bit of a foreign subject for me, although I have researched it quite a bit, and I apologise if I get anything wrong. I would love to hear from anyone who can further enlighten me on the subject.

Transsexual

A term for those who experience a strong desire to assume the physical characteristics and/or gender roles of the opposite biological sex (sex at time of birth).

Transgender

Similar to transsexual, but referring more to gender roles than physical characteristics.

Questioning

Someone who is questioning is usually unsure of their sexual orientation or gender identity. This is usually a stage in self identifying.

Intersex

Someone who is born with an ambiguous sex. For a number of different reasons the 'parts' of a child may not fully develop as male or female whilst in the womb, making it hard to determine which they actually are.

Asexual

Someone with little or no sex drive, therefore having no interest in either males or females.

MOM - Mixed Orientation Marriage

A heterosexual marriage in which one or both spouses are same sex attracted.

MOR - Mixed Orientation Relationship

A heterosexual relationship where one or both partners are same sex attracted.

TIGI - Transgender/Transexual, Intersex, Gender Identity

An encompassing term for all who experience gender issues.